It doesn’t snow often in Charlotte. When it does snow, naturally, it’s a big deal! My daughter wanted to go out and play in the snow before it melted. Having grown up in Michigan, I’m no stranger to snow. Actually, playing outside with my daughter brought on a feeling of nostalgia.
Being out in the snow and thinking about my childhood reminded me of a question that I’m often asked, “What would you say to your younger self?”
Actually….I Have Nothing to Say
I used to answer this question with statements like “I’d tell myself to never give up.” or “I’d say finish college.” Then, I thought about it. If I had taken that advice, I wouldn’t be the person that I am today. I wouldn’t be where I am.
If I had kept going when I should have stopped, I may not have met someone that God placed in my path. If I had finished college, I wouldn’t have the work ethic that I have today. Had I obeyed my mom, I wouldn’t have learned a hard lesson that I would apply later in life.
I believe that everything happens for a reason, whether we realize it or not. I also believe that everything that is supposed to happen in your life, will happen. So, although it hasn’t always been easy, I wouldn’t change the course of my life. The heartbreaks, disappointments and failures all lead me to this moment.
However, I do have a message for my future self.
Actually, there are 5 things that I want to say to my future self:
It’s ok to ‘look stupid’.
Remember when you were afraid to start your blog? You didn’t have a professional graphic designer, photographer or clothes for days…but you did it. Overcoming the fear of ‘looking stupid’ has opened so many doors. Paid opportunities to speak, write and collaborate. Most importantly, you have received messages from women who tell you that you’ve inspired them to go after their goals. Is looking stupid to an imaginary group of people worth the impact that you’ve been able to make by just putting it out there? So whatever it is that you are holding off because of an irrational fear, just do it.
You don’t have to do it all.
Not only do you not HAVE to do it all, you can’t do it all. Asking for and accepting help is not a weakness. In fact, it’s a strength. Being self aware enough to realize your blind spots and weaknesses will help you tremendously.
When opportunity knocks..you don’t have to answer.
In 2016-2017, opportunities presented themselves left and right. You answered the call every time with a “Hell yeah!” You ended up overworked, failing at opportunities that you weren’t prepared to take and ultimately, depressed. Remember, if you pass on an opportunity, another one will come. Often, the next opportunity will be bigger and better. When you say no, use that in between time to continue doing more of the work that attracted the opportunity.
There is purpose in everything that you do.
No task or experience is insignificant, no matter how small. Even when you don’t understand why you are called to do a certain thing, do it in excellence. If you speak to an audience of 2 or 2000, keep the same energy, sis. Everyone that you are able to reach is for a reason, remember that.
Kish, I know that you are ambitious and pride yourself on being forward thinking…but you gotta chill. Just as you cannot change the past, you can’t predict the future. Celebrate every period of your life for you don’t know what is to come. Celebrate during good times and remember the time when you prayed to be in that space. Celebrate in bad times because you are learning a lesson that is going to propel you to your next level.
Now, I’ll get back to my childhood memories. Not to tell my younger self anything, but to appreciate those moments in time.
What would you say to your future self?